14 years ago today….

14 years ago today, my mom passed away. It’s so hard to believe that I’ve almost lived as much of my life without her than with her. I can imagine that my mom would’ve been an amazing grandma to Mason & Millie (and I know she’s an amazing one to Miles!) They would’ve had fun making the zillion types of Christmas cookies that she made with her! I’m sure they would’ve had fun going to garage sale after garage sale (even if she wouldn’t let them buy yucky stuffed animals!) They would’ve loved getting warm hugs and sweet kisses from her, too! (I know those are just a few of the things I loved about her!)

Some other little things about my mom…
~She made the yummiest lasagna…I’ll grab that recipe and share it here in just a second.
~She kept our home spotless…Why didn’t I inherit that trait from her?
~She could cook anything…and it was always so yummy. Well, except for her goulash. Macaroni noodles and tomato paste are just so gross together!
~She had the curliest hair, but we didn’t know it was curly until going swimming on a family vacation in the Lake of the Ozarks. I just couldn’t believe how beautiful it was. (Maybe that’s where Millie gets it?) She used to roll it up in huge rollers are night and sit under a hair dryer to straigten it out. She would sleep with it pinned up and under a handkerchief like Aunt Jemima…super sexy! haha! Abbie inherited mom’s hair color and texture!
~She was the fastest typist I had ever seen…she would do the church bulletins on Saturday nights and I was always amazed at how quickly the keys would click!
~She had such a sweet, tender heart. Money wasn’t always abundant growing up, but she always made sure we had everything we needed…I didn’t know differently! I remember wanting an IOU sweatshirt from The Merry Go Round store when I was in Junior High (It was THE sweatshirt to have.) They were really expensive, but my mom surprised me with two of them that she bought for me to take on a Youth Group trip to Oakland City College. I remember thinking I had the coolest mom ever.
~She used to pack my lunches when I was in elementary school (usually Carl Budding Beef with mustard…the thought of it still makes me gag today). I remember occasionally finding little notes from her or fun treats in my lunch box. There was one special toy (it was a little pillow person, again…they were cool then!) I found one day & I remember the feeling of just sheer joy when I found it!
~She was a bargain hunter. She loved garage sales and good clearance racks! I 100% inherited that trait from her! I remember if we found a close parking spot (the first spot that wasn’t handicapped by the store) then she’d say “Must mean there’s good deals inside!”
~She would say “Brrr, shiver, shiver, shake, shake” when we got out of the tub when we were little. My kids say that now, too!
~She never gave up hope during her cancer battle…she fully believed she would win the battle. Even though she was fighting with all she had, she still thought of ways to make sure certain things would happen if she did pass away. I remember her sitting down with me and asking me which pattern I liked of silverware. I was thinking “cool, we’re getting new forks and spoons.” But, I had no idea I was picking out silverware for me when I got married! Who knew forks and spoons could hold such a high value in my house?
~She was pretty quiet. Again, not a trait that I inherited. Even though she was quiet, she had an opinion on things. I can’t remember mom and dad ever having a fight. They never argued in front of us. I can’t thank them enough for that. I loved growing up in a home where I felt so secure! I never fought with my mom, either. I truly hope that my kids will be able to say the same about their upbringing!
~She clung to the verse “Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding. In all your ways acknowledge Him and He will direct your paths.” We definitely didn’t understand why we were going through all we were going through as a family, but we trusted.
~She had a beautiful voice…I wish I could hear her talk again. I kind of forget how it sounds.
~She had a strong genetic code…Abbie & I look so much like her!
~She wore the perfume called “Design.” I still have her bottle of perfume in my bathroom medicine cabinet & will open it to take me back to her scent.
~She seemed so brave when she found out she had breast cancer and then had to have her labor induced so she could begin chemotherapy. She seemed so strong when Abbie had to go to the NICU. She seemed to have the patience of Job as she endured treatment after treatment and month long stays in the hospital. She seemed so secure as we shopped for new swimsuits and bras after her masectomy. She never wanted us to see her without her wig or turban on, though! 🙂 She seemed invincible after she was cancer-free. A year later when it returned, she still seemed so brave.
~She loved to have her feet rubbed. I used to get kind of grossed out by her cracky feet! I remember sitting on the couch in the living room and her asking me to rub her feet. She was so sick and didn’t get off of the couch much and I would sit and rub…cracky feet and all. I remember in the hospital after she passed away touching her feet and crying that I wouldn’t be able to rub them any more. I inherited her cracky feet.
~She cried when she had to put her dream home up for sale & move into a little parsonage. She made that little house a wonderful home to grow up in.
~She was a wonderful pastor’s wife. The congregation really loved her…and she loved them, too!
~She had beautiful handwriting.
~She had really dry skin…I inherited that, too!
~She had a smile that would light up a room…I like to think that I inherited that, too!
~She was beautiful. She struggled with the weight she put on during her treatments…but I always thought she was so pretty.
~She was my mom, my friend, and my hero.

Man, I’m really missing my mommy today!

Here’s my mom’s lasagna recipe…it’s world-famous, just ask the people at Bethel General Baptist!
1 lb hamburger
1 clove garlic
1 Tbsp basil
1 1/2 tsp salt
1 can tomatoes
2 (6oz) cans tomato paste
10 oz lasagna noodles
large container of small curd cottage cheese
1/2 c Parmesan Cheese
2 Tbsp parsley flakes
2 eggs
2 tsp salt
1 tsp pepper
1 lb Mozzarella cheese

Brown hamburger slowly. Add next 5 ingredients. Simmer, uncovered, 30 minutes. Cook noodles. Combine remaining ingredients together, except mozarella cheese. Place 1/2 noodles in 13×9 inch pan. Spread 1/2 cottage cheese filling, 1/2 Mozzarella cheese and 1/2 meat sauce. Repeat. Bake at 375 for 45 minutes. Let stand 10 minutes before serving.

I’m wishing I had everything at home to make this for dinner tonight!

I know I’ve shared this layout before…

Mom…I love you so much & thanks for helping make me who I am today. Give little Miles hugs and kisses from me…thanks for watching over him. You are so very missed!

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Comments +

  1. renee82 says:

    Kellie, my dear, you have me in tears. What a beautiful blog post. Your mom seems like she was such a beautiful and wonderful person and from what I’ve read you’ve inherted a lot of her great qualities. You’re a strong woman and I know you mother is so proud of you. Thank you for sharing these thoughts with us. Love ya! MWAH!

  2. Lauren says:

    there is no doubt how proud you make her…. i loved reading about her and had to giggle at some of your bits about the things you’ve inherited! you are my hero kellie xooxoxoxooxo *mwah*

  3. Robin says:

    Hugs Kellie!!! Your mother sounds like such a wonderful person and it sounds like you take after her too! And you look so much like her!

  4. JenBreeze says:

    Kellie- What a beautiful tribute to your mother. You clearly inherited her strength and grace, too. Thanks for letting us share these special memories of her. Hugs to you today!

  5. Emily says:

    I am crying my eyes out now! I can still remember your Mom’s soft voice & her lasagna too! 🙂 It’s so nice reading this blog & remembering so many of the same things! The years your Dad was pastor, were the best years at the Church! I know she is looking down on you and the family you have made and is so proud!

    *HUGS*
    Love
    Emily

  6. Stephanie Anderson says:

    Big Hugs Kellie.. What wonderful memories of your mother…I could hardly get through them as you had me in tears. You are such a strong woman and you have for sure inherited all of your mother’s sweet goodness..

    xoxoxo
    Stephanie

  7. Jessica says:

    Oh my, stop making me cry! I didn’t know your mom, but I know you, and you are so wonderful, that your mom had to be wonderful to make you who you are! I don’t know how you have gotten through some of the terrible, tough trials that you have been through, but I do know you are very strong, or you wouldn’t have. I don’t think I could have, and I admire you greatly. I am proud to call you my friend, and please know I am here for you always! I love you!

  8. Barb says:

    Kellie, this is such a lovely tribute to you mom. I agree that you inherited not only her looks, but her strength and grace as well.

    You have had too much loss in your young life. God love ya! I know your mom is so proud of you.

  9. Michelle Filo says:

    oh wow Kellie, you should certainly put all that information into a little keepsake on paper so it doesnt get lost on the digital world with no one to see it, specially your kids when they grow up would LOVE to read something like this!
    All the best dear!

  10. Melissa says:

    What lovely memories you have of your mom, Kellie! She was just beautiful! You look so much like her!

  11. Katie says:

    What a stunning tribute. Truly she was a woman whose value was above rubies. I wish I could have known her. You and Abbie really do look so much like her. It isn’t fair what some people are called to bear. I’m praying for comfort for you today.

  12. Anonymous says:

    well kellie, congrats. you know how to make me bawl.

    -abbie

  13. Jessica Phelan says:

    Oh, Kellie! My favorite memory of your mom was her Texas Cake! 🙂 I remember when I would stay over at your house in Junior High and she would let us have it for breakfast! Isn’t it funny what you remember? It was so hard for me to read your post, so I know how hard it was for you to write it! I can’t believe it’s been 14 years.

  14. Ratzlaff Reflections says:

    What a wonderful tribute to your mother. Thank you for sharing your heart with us!

  15. Teresa says:

    Oh Kellie….your words have me in tears. What an incredible post and such vivid memories of your mom. I hope they are always as close to your heart as they are now. I don’t *hate* many things, but cancer is definitely one of them. Such an ugly and unfair disease, I pray for cure someday so all those beautiful moms can stay here just a little longer….{HUGS} to you!!

  16. Becky (Sarah's sister) says:

    You made me cry! I wish I could have met her. She sounds like such a wonderful woman. Thank you for sharing your memories.

  17. Laura says:

    Kellie,
    It has been a while since I have been on your blog but I could not pull myself away from the computer as I read this blog. Then I could not stop crying which is not bad but I am at work so I am trying to compose myself before anyone notices. Although I did not know your mom I feel like I am looking at you when I see her picture. She must have been a beautiful person just like you are. I miss you all so much and want you to know how much your friendship means to me. BTW- Mason and Millie are adorable!!!
    Laura

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