15 years ago…

It’s hard to believe that today marks the day that my mother went to be with Jesus. It’s so hard to believe that 15 years have passed since then. I was just 14 when she died, so I’ve now officially lived longer without her than with her. I don’t really know how to process that! Yes, it feels so long ago since she passed away, but it sure doesn’t feel like 15 years! But, when I think about what all I’ve done in 15 years (graduated high school, got married, graduated from college, became a pastor’s wife, bought a home, had three children, buried a child) I realize a lot of time really has passed. And, there have been so many moments that I just wish so badly that she could have been here! I look at Mason and Millie playing and just think about how she would’ve just adored them & would’ve been an amazing grandmother. And, I smile when I think that she is an amazing grandmother to Miles. If it’s possible to get spoiled rotten in heaven, I’m sure he is getting spoiled by Grandma Donna & Aunt Debbie (my mom’s sister)! Life has definitely thrown me more than one nasty curveball & there are days when I just get so mad thinking about it. It is definitely unfair that I had to lose my mother so early, and it is so unfair that I had to bury my son when he was just three months old. But, when I stop and think about the fact that they are getting to experience Heaven…I realize that it must be such an incredible place & that I really wouldn’t want them to have to give that up to spend time back here on earth. (although…maybe just 5 more minutes wouldn’t hurt? What I would give for just 5 more minutes.) I am so very proud to be able to say that I am the daughter of Donna Ree Warren. Her presence in my life for 14 years definitely helped shape me into who I am today. I remember going through my rebellious stage after she passed away, and I would look up to heaven and just cringe at the thought that she might be able to see me. Even though she wasn’t here, she was still parenting me! haha! I know last year on her Heaven day, I posted a big list of memories about my mom…and I’ve tried to think of a few more!

–Craft fairs…Mom loved going to craft fairs and buying new wreathes/shelves/benches for our home. We were definitely surrounded by country blue & mauve! (I wonder how she would decorate today…)
–Garage Sales…I may have shared this last year, but she loved garage sales. We would get a paper on Thursday nights & she would map out a start to finish list on where we would go and what order we were going to the different sales. She kind of reminds me of my cousin Jason’s wife, Annie, in her organization!
–Coupons…I remember mom’s huge yellow envelope of coupons. I also remember learning how to play poker and we used the value on coupons as our money! 🙂
–Game night…I loved days when school was called off due to snow…it almost always meant a game night. I loved playing Aggravation & Sorry with the family.
–Lasagna, Chili, Chicken A la King, Tacos, Chicken pot pie, Spaghetti, and Sauerkraut/polish sausage…these are the meals I remember the most growing up. Oh, and I remember having to eat lots of hamburgers on white bread…gross!! Doesn’t Eddie Murphy call that the poor man’s burger? I just remember how gross and soggy that bread got! Blech!!
–Christmas Cookies…she had a special knack for making these! They were AMAZING!
–her “rear.” Yep…Abbie & I inherited her backside. Dang genetics! LOL!
–ceramics…She used to do ceramics at the Nemick’s house when I was younger. I think just about everyone we knew got a hand painted ceramic gift…ducks, reindeer, nativity scene. My favorites were my precious moments doll, my piggy bank, and a doll that looks like a newborn. (Which, the newborn doll kind of freaks Tyler out!)
–Christmas Trees…She used to make our ornaments for our tree. When I was little, it was some wooden, hand painted ornaments. When I got older, it was wall paper angels, and after that it was angels made out of paper ribbon/raffia. I still have some of each of those that I put on my own tree at Christmas.
–Another garage sale thing…Mom used to wash/iron the clothes before she would put them out at the garage sale. She said it made them sell better. Then, whatever was left after the garage sale, she would box up and get back out at the next garage sale. We usually had one in the spring and fall. She would usually get a sunburn, too! Her awesome garage sale skills usually paid for family vacation each year.
–Her laugh…it was magical.
–Her singing…not so magical. 🙂 But, she did love to sing!
–I remember my Junior High Pre-Algebra teacher calling our house to let my parents know that I was falling behind in class due to missing so much with mom’s cancer diagnosis/Abbie’s birth/etc, and advising them to have me just go to regular math this year and take pre-algebra last year. I remember mom crying after that phone call because she felt like it was her fault. I remember feeling so guilty that I couldn’t keep up and that my mom was sad…but was also relieved to be out of pre-algebra!
–miscarriages…I think my mom had three miscarriages between Andy/Abbie. I remember her excitement in finding out she was pregnant, and I remember the disappointment when she lost the babies. I remember the morning we found out she was pregnant with Abbie. I was so excited to be a big sister again. Not long after telling us, she started spotting. I remember laying in bed next to her as she cried. I remember crying with her. Little did we know that God had bigger plans. Abbie would be a special gift that would get us all through a really rough time.
–fears. I also remember the doctors telling my mom that there was a good chance Abbie may be born with Down syndrome. I remember the books in her room as she read about it and she told me that we would love this baby no matter what. I can’t imagine the relief she must have felt when Abbie was born without Downs. Again…Abbie was an amazing gift that we all needed!

My family is going to eat Mom’s famous lasagna tonight…it is sounding really yummy!

Please pray for my mom’s dad, my Grandpa Mize, today. He is currently in surgery having a cancer spot from his kidney removed, and will lose part of his kidney. He is expected to retain full function of the kidney. He’s almost 83 and was pretty worried about this surgery. I’m sure having surgery on the 15 year death of your daughter isn’t an easy thing to go through.

Thanks for letting me ramble on about my wonderful mother…it really is therapeutic! LOL!